This post is really just another reflection. I've been in a reflective state as of lately which I've mentioned in my previous posts. I've been still trying to put myself in this box that I can't seem to fit it. You know, the one that identifies who I am and what I do? Labels. Labels stress me out. Being labeled stresses me out immensely. We live in a society that tells you to pick one thing and stay with it until you die. Don't ever deviate or you'll be labeled "indecisive". I wonder how other artists feel. Are they like me and don't know if they want to go by author, writer, influencer, mom, entrepreneur, millennial; are they confused?
Does that mean that I don't know what I want or like? I strongly believe that it means the exact opposite. I do know what I want and I'm okay with having it all. Sometimes we don't give ourselves permission to have what we want because we feel that it's too much. Trying to fit societies idea of a "good life" has made it hard for me to progress and flourish as an artist. It has stifled my creativity.
Not too long ago, I felt like I was in a rush to play catch up, but didn't know who or what I was catching up to. I've had to ask myself, "why are you listening to these "experts" on social media Chrys?" I felt rushed to create, so I began to create. Creating to compete. Again, why? I know myself better than anyone. I know what I'm capable of and what brings me joy. I understand that you can not rush true artistry. The focus should always be on the art itself and how you want it to be received. Not on what we hope to gain from it.
I want to create from an authentic place. My writing should flow from my heart and mind. I do not wish to write things that feel forced. I like to be called or led without barriers. Barriers restrict my artistic ability. It might not make sense to others but it doesn't have to. That's okay. Sometimes, when the exchange of currency is linked to the art, it can taint the beauty of the process and ultimately the outcome. At least for me that is. I've noticed that about myself and how I create.
I've been asked when would my next project be released, and quite honestly, I love the art too much to rush. I love my readers and myself too much to put anything out into the world that I wouldn't be proud of years later.
As I wrote this while sitting in a park, the thoughts flowed and it all made sense. Then as I sat down to type what I'd written, Lauren Ash of BGIO posted a quote on Instagram that read:
My advice to myself and you-dear artist, is to take your time and only create from the real parts of you. As artists we are often misunderstood and underrepresented. We feel like there isn't anyone like us within close proximity and we struggle with finding our safe-place. That is when you create art. That feeling births some of the best words, pictures and sounds that this world needs-that we need. Channel your energy towards creating beauty. Know that there is a community of human beings who are waiting to embrace you-the real you. Go where you are loved. Be what and who you are, and only be that; for being anything else would be a great disservice to the world.